Infographic: Separation & Divorce - Tips for Parents

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Parenting through separation and divorce is not for the faint of heart. Such family transitions represent a unique life stage in which both parents and children can be most vulnerable. In the midst of all the change and emotional upheaval, parenting your "best" during these times can feel at times beyond reach.

The good news is that you don't need to be your best at all times in order for your children to adapt to the changes in their family in healthy ways. They just need you to be good enough[1]: to show up for them physically and emotionally, to model self-compassion by taking care of your own needs, and to bring a growth mindset[2] to the process of establishing your new "normal" as a family.

The Infographic "6 Parenting Tips for Separation & Divorce" aims to help you do just that, by offering evidence-informed ideas for parenting through family transitions that are grounded in the 5 Heart-Mind Qualities.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click below to download (PDF File):

 

 

References:

(1) Hetherington, E. M. (Ed.). (1999). Coping with divorce, single parenting, and remarriage: A risk and resiliency perspective. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers; (2) Amato, Paul R. (2000). “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children.” Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 62, no. 4; (3) Uphold-Carrier, Holly, and Rebecca Utz. (2012). “Parental Divorce Among Young and Adult Children: A Long-Term Quantitative Analysis of Mental Health and Family Solidarity.” Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, vol. 53, no. 4; (4) Becher, Emily H., et al. (2019). “Positive Parenting and Parental Conflict: Contributions to Resilient Coparenting During Divorce.” Family Relations, vol. 68, no. 1; (5) Sbarra, David A., et al. (2012). “When Leaving Your Ex, Love Yourself.” Psychological Science, vol. 23, no. 3, pp. 261–269; (6) Amato, Paul R. (2000). “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children.” Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 62, no. 4; Image from freepik.com

A growth mindset views challenge as an opportunity to get stronger and smarter, and understands setbacks as valuable learning opportunities. Click "more" to read a Heart-Mind Online resource with evidence-informed tips to foster a growth mindset in the children you care about. 

Being a "good enough parent" means meeting your child's needs in a sensitive, responsive, and empathic way most of the time. Some research shows that its "good enough" if you're able to "get it right" at least 50% of the time. 

  • Secure and Calm

    Secure and calm describes the ability to take part in daily activities and approach new situations without being overwhelmed with worries, sadness or anxiety. To be secure and calm also means being able to cope with stress and pressure, and to bounce back from difficulties.
  • Gets Along with Others

    Getting along with others is the ability to form positive and healthy relationships with peers and adults. Children with better abilities to regulate their emotions and behaviours have more friends and experience more positive playtime with their peers.
  • Alert and Engaged

    Being alert and engaged is the ability to manage and direct one's own feelings, thoughts and emotions. In general, the ability to be 'present' and to exercise self-control.
  • Compassionate and Kind

    Being compassionate and kind is closely related to empathy. While empathy refers more generally to the ability to take the perspective of and to feel the emotions of another person, compassion goes one step further.
  • Solves Problems Peacefully

    Managing conflict effectively is about creating an atmosphere where violence and aggression are not likely. To resolve conflict means using empathy, problem-solving skills, understanding other points of view and coming up with ways to make things right in a fair way.