With today’s busy family schedules, sitting down to share a meal may seem like a luxury. It is, however, one of the most effective strategies to strengthen family communication, prevent high risk behaviours in youth, and improve school performance. Research[1] indicates that eating together as a family at least four times a week has positive effects on children’s health and social development.
There is no need to get hung up on the term “family” says Community Nutritionist and family meal advocate, Hélène Dufour. The reality is that children and youth grow up in a variety of family configurations. The key is for children and youth to regularly eat a meal (any meal!) with a meaningful adult in their lives.
If any of the following sound familiar, here are a few tips to introduce or increase family meals in your home.
“We have different work schedules and activities, dinner together is impossible!”
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Try breakfast together instead of dinner. It may be easier to align morning routines.
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Try sandwiches instead of something hot. If the time required to prepare a hot meal is preventing the family from eating it together, go simple!
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Involve all family members in food preparation - share the load, teach lifelong skills in the kitchen and have fun with food.
“What about the TV? Does it count when we watch and eat together?”
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Turn off the screens, watch your favourite films or series later and use the time to connect with your child, be present and listen.
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Avoid distractions by turning off phones and other devices.
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For young children, mealtime talks are a way to teach table manners, social skills, and to reinforce family values.
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For older children, mealtime talks are an opportunity to learn about what’s important to your child during a period when they are becoming increasingly independent.
“We end up fighting or nagging, mealtime isn’t pleasant.”
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Focus on making mealtime stress-free. Save sensitive or challenging subjects for another time.
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Talk about what makes you happy, express gratitude and/ or compliment the person you are eating with.
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Ask your child to describe their day. Then listen more than you speak.
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Use conversation starters[2] to help spark positive discussions.
In a national survey of youth in New Zealand, researchers found that frequent family meals were positively associated with strong family relationships. They concluded that the family meal offers a low-cost and tangible strategy to improve family well-being.
In a study of over 24,000 6-11 year olds, those that ate family meals more frequently were associated with more positive social skills and decreased problematic social behaviours.
While there seems to be agreement in the literature about the connection of family meals (including frequency) to reducing high risk behaviours in youth (such as alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana use, violence, sexual behaviour and disordered eating), one meta-analysis suggests that more research is required to fully understand the protective mechanisms involved.
If you are out of practice with family conversations or are too exhausted after a busy day to spark a dialogue, use conversation starters to connect. A question can be an easy way to get people talking.
Follow the link for a set of cards that can be printed and used at home. They were developed by the Nuu-chah-nulth Tribal Council and Island Health.